Top 6 Reasons I HATE Freelance Writing

1) Nobody is around to see my professional business attire, so I have to wear sweatpants.

I really miss spending money on pantyhose, dress shirts, slacks, and dress shoes, and I miss the challenging game I still haven't mastered of trying to prevent my pantyhose from running. Although shopping for professional business clothes often put a large dent in my pocketbook, it made me feel incredibly classy. I didn't care about the more successful lawyers and doctors looking on me with distaste in my Walmart slacks. Now I have to be comfortable while I work and I'm unable to compete for the “best-dressed” award at the office.

2) There are no distractions and my environment is quiet so I'm forced to work.

In the office, I got to listen to co-workers' exciting stories about their family camping trips, the details of their latest breakups from boyfriends/girlfriends and the details behind Dungeons and Dragons board game parties. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to cope with applying the time I spent listening to their captivating stories, to my own work. I might actually get more work done on a daily basis with all the peace and quiet.

3) I no longer have a need for a car and I can't make fun of other people in their cars during rush hour.

I used to have so much fun sitting in traffic and commuting. I miss the games I made up in which I tallied the amount of careless drivers talking into their cell phones, the number of businessmen wearing ties and women applying makeup. I also used to experiment with trying alternate routes that saved time and money on gas –- too bad I have to stay at home now. So much for establishing awesome credit by making car payments every month...I don't have to pay car insurance every month or ever visit the DMV again either. Oh well.

4) I am forced to eat at home and save money versus being able to splurge on unhealthy fast-food and eating out.

By eating at home, I am now forced to eat beans, rice, and my fresh fruit and vegetables. I'm really going to miss going to lunch with the team and eating riblet baskets from Applebees. Although it gave me food poisoning a few times, I really enjoyed hearing dirty gossip about other employees and more stories about the cute things my co-worker's kids did over the weekend.

5) My writing skills are actually legitimately evaluated; I'll miss competing with my peers over giving my boss the best compliments or sleeping my way to the top.

I was really getting the hang of the art of brown-nosing. After many years of hard work trying to master this goal, I don't know what I'll do to get ahead now that I freelance at home. I suspect I'll have to continue to read and research to improve my writing skills the legitimate way instead of buying expensive girl scout cookies to support my boss' daughter. I didn't mind being the fat girl in the office.

6) I now have the freedom to exercise and hang out in the sunshine...I'll miss my trendy, pale, vampire skin tones.

Having the ability to work at any hour of the day, I can no longer make any excuses about not spending time outdoors. I guess I can visit the gym during the day when the rat-race is at work or I can go running in the sun...I'll really miss competing for treadmills at the gym during rush-hour and worrying about my safety running at night-time. I have way too much free time on my hands now...just what will I do with it all?!